God, Sovereignty, and Our Kid, Part 1

Today was another tough day on the "having a baby" front. Emily and I went to the doctor for her second amniocentesis this morning. I had a good feeling about the test showing that our baby was ready to be "taken out of the oven" but I was wrong. The lung-readiness test showed that she isn't.

The new plan is to have another growth ultrasound on Thursday morning, and if everything looks OK, have the C-section on Monday. If everything doesn't look OK, we will have a C-section ASAP after the ultrasound. If Emily goes into labor, we will have a C-section immediately. So, we don't know when little Chloe will be in this world!

Emily's pregnancy has been a difficult process for us. Many of you know that we've been married for 10 years. And, this is our first child. For a long time, we didn't feel led by God to have kids. We were student pastors for 10 years, and loved students. We were told more than one time that we had "plenty of kids already." And, for a long time, that was just right for us.

But, a couple of years ago, we really felt that God wanted us to adopt a child. Since we had already "adopted" tons of other people's kids, that just seemed natural for us and felt as if it was God's plan. However, after a couple years of pursuing adoption, we finally got a straight answer: we did not have the net worth, financial stability (living on support is not a plus to social services!) and residential stability that the child-placement agencies wanted.

So, we didn't know what to do. Then, we felt that God told us it was OK to try ot have "our own" child. That was a step of faith for us, since Emily has some major physical issues (I call it "battle damage") from a car accident in college. Her pelvis is plated together, and won't expand for natural childbirth. She also has a hip replacement (a residual problem from the car accident) and epilepsy that is controlled by medication. All in all, Emily is as healthy as any young woman her age, but for having kids there's lots of potential issues. Besides the structural stuff, epilepsy leads to a much higher risk of birth defects.

So, with God's leading, we attempted pregnancy early this year. To be honest, we didn't even really believe that Emily could get pregnant. We didn't know what kind of issues she might have with her plumbing as a result of her surgeries. But, God blessed us and Emily got pregnant almost instantly!

That was a buge blessing, but then came the waiting game for weeks and weeks as we had test after test to check for the possibility of birth defects and major spinal issues. We knew that our baby could have serious problems. We also knew that no matter what happened, we'd love our baby and treat him or her as a blessing from God. We were repeatedly offered extra tests that were intended to allow parents to abort their unborn children if their kids had major birth defects. We rejected the ones that we could, but doctors insisted on several.

To make a long story short, this has been a stressful time for us. (Plus, we just moved to plant a church, and we rely on the gracious financial gifts of others for our living expenses.) So, if we sound super-ready to have our little girl, we are... We just want to get the pregnancy thing done and see our little girl. But, no matter what happens (and thank God, all systems are go so far!) we will love little Chloe.

I want to ask you all to pray tonight for another Acts 29 Network pastor, Brad Hovis, and his wife Haley and son Owen. Brad and Haley's daughter Molly was born two months ago. She was expected to live just a few minutes after she was born. But, she held on until last night, when she died on the operating table as she received an organ transplant. Brad and Molly and Owen could really use your prayers, so please remember them.

God is truly large and in charge. His ways are not our ways, nor can we always understand them. Some children are born healthy, and some are not. We'll talk more about this in the next post... But for now, please pray for the Hovis family. They are hurting in a way I hope I never feel.